We have had such a good few days here with the kids. Its nice to have Abby here again. She loves to play with the babies. I have had a few drop in children this week and that has kept Abby bush :). I have made sure to schedule them around time that Abby and I are not too busy. Today is Daddy's last day off until his SD tomorrow and I told Abby that I would take her shopping just her and I again so we had to get an early start before Daddy got up. LOL. Thanks to Deano he got us going a little earlier that I thought this morning. We missed the bus this morning so we had to take him to school. I felt like an idiot because I had never done it before. Usually the bus takes him every morning so I did not know how to drop him off or where to do it. We got it squared away. So we are off and ready to shop shortly after 745 this am. :) We ended or morning at the book store. Abby looked a little overwhelmed with all the books and choices she had to make. I was a little nervous of the books she was choosing.
As children get older every family has their own opinion of what is appropriate at each age. She had picked up a Hannah Montana book and I was like OMG that's too old for her eyes to be reading. She watches the tv show I just didn't know about actually reading it. I thought this was a decision her mother could help me make. I guess if its ok with her then its ok with me. I did not want to discourage Abby or disappoint her so The best thing I could think of was asking her mother :) Abby got the book. On the way home she started reading it out loud and Diana just stared at Abby smiling. It was so cute.
Abby and Diana have been able to spend some quality time together. Its been good for both. The next time we have Abby will be Thanksgiving and I know Diana will be completely walking on her own by then. Daddy and Abby are out now spending their much needed time together as well. Its been very hard to Abby to understand the concept of a Blended Family. Its not just Daddy and Abby anymore. There are the 5 of us. We treat each one of the children the same. some times its very difficult as Abby is a very emotional little girl and you don't want to hurt her feeling. She is having a hard time understanding the SD and why he has to be gone for a full day and sleep a little the next. Yes it does not seem fair. LOL It doesn't seem fair to us so I really see hows it seems unfair to her. Last night Daddy and Abby went out to get movies just the two and it was Deans turn not to understand why I wanted him to stay home with mommy. LOL. We get if from both ends.
It seems every visit lately there is a talk that Abby needs to have. There is a way that my husband and I like to handle the whole other family of hers. We have made it clear that there is no talking bad about the others ect ect. Some how it gets brought up though every time and we have to deal with it Gently. Making sure to give our point and our views and how we handle the situation and why things are done the way they are. We feel that she is not able or old enough to hear the your daddy this and your daddy that ect ect ect from her other side of the family. It hurts her. She takes it in and bottles it in and that hurts. It hurts us for her having to hear it and then repeat it. We have made our agreement not to talk bad about the other side of her family but sometimes the story needs to be set straight from us. Yes Daddy should call a bit ... more . None the less he is her daddy. She should not have to hear mean things. It hurts us to here the things that she is told and shes crying. Sometimes as adults we forget that we are dealing with little people with little emotions and say things that are going to benefit us at that point and neglect the fact of what its doing to our children. Abby had lots of questions about things she's heard and statements she needed to make. And we tried to handle them one by one and help her though it. We will never be able to protect what she hears when shes some place else but we can help her when shes here and she has question or comments of statements that shes heard elsewhere. She is 7 and it seems like she has had to be grown up way beyond 7. I do not know why any parent would let their ugly feelings out and not protect their children until they are old enough and mature enough and emotionally stable enough to understand everything.
A blended family is not so easy at time. :) I finally bought 3 books today on how to make it work a bit easier and to communicate with our children when they have difficult questions or sny comments on things they have heard. Every Visit with her is a great time to bond with her. We wish we could see her more often so her mind could be a little rest assured but things are not just that way. We love her and all of our children and we have a life time of special times together. I hope as we build and grow as a Family it gets easier. last night at the dinner table Abby said My mommy said .......is a better dad then daddy is. Well sure. Her soon to be step daddy will be a bigger supporter in her life as she lives with him. he is there everyday almost 320 some days of the year. , It stinks and we know Gils missed out on a lot, hes not there, ect ect. So we had to reason with our 7 year old on why her Step daddy is a BIG part of her life and Daddy misses it. We get it. We understand it but why should a 7 year old have to know or hear it. Its the selfishness of immature parents who feel they can though their thoughts and feelings on their young children and make them understand and digest it. I think we all have been there one day or another wanting to tell them some secrete that we think they should know but yet come to the realization its wrong to hurt our already hurting children.
Every bonding experience we get with our children means the worlds to us. We love them all .
